Thank you for sharing not only your life as you see it now, but also your wonderful son's perspective. You may disagree on many things but he clearly has your intellect and analytical ability. I'm sorry you couldn't have the relationship with your father you have with your son. Hopefully each generation learns and grows more than the last and passes it on. (Is that what we mean by progressivism?) As for your failure to conform to your espoused values, well that's complicated for sure and even you probably don't know entirely why, and there are multiple possibilities, not all mutually exclusive. Of course you are not alone in this regard, although I don't know exactly where you fall on this particular bell curve. As for the reason, one possibility is poor impulse control, and that is a skill that tends to improve with age. Only you know whether that has been a frequent issue in your life and in how many domains. Another possibility is intentional (but mostly likely unconscious) self-sabotage. From something you said on Bob Wright's show, I suspect that might have played a role (you can see my comment there for more if interested). As for the "boot-strap" method for which you advocate, it's a myth that people can overcome difficult problems all on their own. You had much help overcoming your addiction, and you never explained what finally caused you to stop sleeping around (maybe simply weaker urges due to age?). In any case, it's most helpful to others when people who've overcome self-made problems describe what specific coping strategies they learned to overcome them. As a psychologist, I'm obviously biased but I would suggest if you want to better understand why you so strongly espoused values with which you did not conform, therapy may help you determine that. Your son seems to have been in therapy a lot, and I suspect it gave him much insight.
Thank you for sharing not only your life as you see it now, but also your wonderful son's perspective. You may disagree on many things but he clearly has your intellect and analytical ability. I'm sorry you couldn't have the relationship with your father you have with your son. Hopefully each generation learns and grows more than the last and passes it on. (Is that what we mean by progressivism?) As for your failure to conform to your espoused values, well that's complicated for sure and even you probably don't know entirely why, and there are multiple possibilities, not all mutually exclusive. Of course you are not alone in this regard, although I don't know exactly where you fall on this particular bell curve. As for the reason, one possibility is poor impulse control, and that is a skill that tends to improve with age. Only you know whether that has been a frequent issue in your life and in how many domains. Another possibility is intentional (but mostly likely unconscious) self-sabotage. From something you said on Bob Wright's show, I suspect that might have played a role (you can see my comment there for more if interested). As for the "boot-strap" method for which you advocate, it's a myth that people can overcome difficult problems all on their own. You had much help overcoming your addiction, and you never explained what finally caused you to stop sleeping around (maybe simply weaker urges due to age?). In any case, it's most helpful to others when people who've overcome self-made problems describe what specific coping strategies they learned to overcome them. As a psychologist, I'm obviously biased but I would suggest if you want to better understand why you so strongly espoused values with which you did not conform, therapy may help you determine that. Your son seems to have been in therapy a lot, and I suspect it gave him much insight.