My daughter attends Seattle Univ and according to her 50% identify as LGBT. I think it leans heavily female gay however. The bottom line is that it's simply not "cool" to identify as straight or cis hetero. Her best friend refuses to be held down to society standards and has now gone from gay to bi to pan sexual. It's absurd because basically she likes "dudes". But boy do they have the narrative down "I always thought I was different", "who determines who I can love".. blah, blah, blah. Of course I just have to nod my head in understanding lest I get schooled by my 21year old. It's a fight I'm not willing to engage in. That being said, at least her lesbian roommate said to her "It's OK to be straight"! At least there are some sane youth left.
With respect, it’s a fight you SHOULD engage in. Kids need our guidance, our perspective built on additional decades of experience. I would emphasize that it’s their decision, but kids are confused also, and they desperately need the perspective of people that they know have their best interests at heart.
I agree with what you are saying and it's not that I haven't added my thoughts and opinions. But at some point, there is not much left I can say, especially for someone who is 21 and paving their own path. My daughter knows exactly what I think yet she is dug in to her own ideas and at some point I need to respect that.
Years ago, when our daughters were at university, I used to refer to it as the “Chapel Hill bubble”. We realized that our daughters were ensconced in academia, and though they were getting an education, we felt that it was important to present alternative points of view. If you have an open, respectful communication with them in these early adult years (which it very much sounds like you do), they will come back to you for counsel in the ensuing years. I’m happy to say that our grown, now successful 40something adult children ask for our thoughts and opinions all the time, especially on parenting! They don’t always agree, and we respect that, but the lines of communication remain open. So, Maura, keep talking, but especially, keep listening. Good luck.
Totally right. I agree. There will be years enough to sort all this out. She knows your position and you have to let her forge her own path, and own it.
My daughter attends Seattle Univ and according to her 50% identify as LGBT. I think it leans heavily female gay however. The bottom line is that it's simply not "cool" to identify as straight or cis hetero. Her best friend refuses to be held down to society standards and has now gone from gay to bi to pan sexual. It's absurd because basically she likes "dudes". But boy do they have the narrative down "I always thought I was different", "who determines who I can love".. blah, blah, blah. Of course I just have to nod my head in understanding lest I get schooled by my 21year old. It's a fight I'm not willing to engage in. That being said, at least her lesbian roommate said to her "It's OK to be straight"! At least there are some sane youth left.
With respect, it’s a fight you SHOULD engage in. Kids need our guidance, our perspective built on additional decades of experience. I would emphasize that it’s their decision, but kids are confused also, and they desperately need the perspective of people that they know have their best interests at heart.
I agree with what you are saying and it's not that I haven't added my thoughts and opinions. But at some point, there is not much left I can say, especially for someone who is 21 and paving their own path. My daughter knows exactly what I think yet she is dug in to her own ideas and at some point I need to respect that.
Years ago, when our daughters were at university, I used to refer to it as the “Chapel Hill bubble”. We realized that our daughters were ensconced in academia, and though they were getting an education, we felt that it was important to present alternative points of view. If you have an open, respectful communication with them in these early adult years (which it very much sounds like you do), they will come back to you for counsel in the ensuing years. I’m happy to say that our grown, now successful 40something adult children ask for our thoughts and opinions all the time, especially on parenting! They don’t always agree, and we respect that, but the lines of communication remain open. So, Maura, keep talking, but especially, keep listening. Good luck.
Totally right. I agree. There will be years enough to sort all this out. She knows your position and you have to let her forge her own path, and own it.