I'm not sure that marriage itself is necessary for one to achieve their full potential, but it's certainly not wise to raise children alone, not for yourself or the child.
There are also many people who are unable to get married; for example, the genius lost in some profundity -- too bizarre to be considered -- along with the man with the unpleasant disposition, the disabled, the jobless, the vagabond, etc, etc. Women are selective, biologically selective, and some people are just not going to make it to the next round. But if you have options and you are refusing to settle down, then that is probably rooted in some form of immaturity, perhaps insecurity, and that seems to be more and more common.
That is a good point, and I wonder how much of that is economical. How many men feel insecure about their social position, and so they revert to short term relationships where they can "pretend" for a short time that perhaps they are something they are not, just to get the woman they want, then move onto the next one.
How many women turn down perfectly good men, simply because of their social position? How many men have pretty good jobs, but turn down women because they don't want to spend 100,000 dollars on a wedding? How much is just selfishness? How many good looking men want to play the field for as long as they can, because sex is easier to obtain now than ever before?
Yes, it seems that there are many men who prefer to play the field. Women are now often advised on how to differentiate between men "with serious intentions" and other men. I don't think that it is about the financial costs of a wedding - I feel that lots of men are now simply afraid of any real emotional attachment and its consequences. And dating apps and websites encourage many people to think that they have plenty of options, that they can be very picky...
I am sure that there are women who turn down perfectly good men only because of their social status or for some other shallow reason. However, there are also perfectly good women who are ignored, turned down or treated like dirt for very shallow reasons. Unfortunately we live in a world which favours superficial and narcissistic people, a world where human beings are very often judged mainly on their looks, popularity and social status.
I listened to a podcast that rated countries based on a number of factors. One of them was individualistic vs collectivistic. The United States was the biggest outlier, ranking as by far the most individualistic country in the world. I wonder if that is at the root of the declining marriage rates. The kind of concessions required to make a marriage work might be seen as an unreasonable burden to someone who needs every feeling validated and thinks compromising means they aren’t being true to themselves. If they had to accommodate someone else’s desires they wouldn’t be living their best life. Maybe I am just getting old, but it seems that pretty standard compromises married couples have always made are now seen as controlling and oppressive.
I agree with you. I would add that another aspect of this extreme individualism is that many people are focused on their own desires and expectations in a very selfish way and assume that they can find someone who will fill all their (often totally arbitrary) criteria. This approach towards relationships has nothing in common with love and is clearly a consequence of unbridled consumerism: another human being is treated like a commodity.
I'm not sure that marriage itself is necessary for one to achieve their full potential, but it's certainly not wise to raise children alone, not for yourself or the child.
There are also many people who are unable to get married; for example, the genius lost in some profundity -- too bizarre to be considered -- along with the man with the unpleasant disposition, the disabled, the jobless, the vagabond, etc, etc. Women are selective, biologically selective, and some people are just not going to make it to the next round. But if you have options and you are refusing to settle down, then that is probably rooted in some form of immaturity, perhaps insecurity, and that seems to be more and more common.
Or maybe just bad examples throughout your life.
Men are also selective. Many women struggle with finding a partner ready for a committed relationship and some have even given up on men.
That is a good point, and I wonder how much of that is economical. How many men feel insecure about their social position, and so they revert to short term relationships where they can "pretend" for a short time that perhaps they are something they are not, just to get the woman they want, then move onto the next one.
How many women turn down perfectly good men, simply because of their social position? How many men have pretty good jobs, but turn down women because they don't want to spend 100,000 dollars on a wedding? How much is just selfishness? How many good looking men want to play the field for as long as they can, because sex is easier to obtain now than ever before?
There are certianly a lot of factors involved.
Yes, it seems that there are many men who prefer to play the field. Women are now often advised on how to differentiate between men "with serious intentions" and other men. I don't think that it is about the financial costs of a wedding - I feel that lots of men are now simply afraid of any real emotional attachment and its consequences. And dating apps and websites encourage many people to think that they have plenty of options, that they can be very picky...
I am sure that there are women who turn down perfectly good men only because of their social status or for some other shallow reason. However, there are also perfectly good women who are ignored, turned down or treated like dirt for very shallow reasons. Unfortunately we live in a world which favours superficial and narcissistic people, a world where human beings are very often judged mainly on their looks, popularity and social status.
I listened to a podcast that rated countries based on a number of factors. One of them was individualistic vs collectivistic. The United States was the biggest outlier, ranking as by far the most individualistic country in the world. I wonder if that is at the root of the declining marriage rates. The kind of concessions required to make a marriage work might be seen as an unreasonable burden to someone who needs every feeling validated and thinks compromising means they aren’t being true to themselves. If they had to accommodate someone else’s desires they wouldn’t be living their best life. Maybe I am just getting old, but it seems that pretty standard compromises married couples have always made are now seen as controlling and oppressive.
I agree with you. I would add that another aspect of this extreme individualism is that many people are focused on their own desires and expectations in a very selfish way and assume that they can find someone who will fill all their (often totally arbitrary) criteria. This approach towards relationships has nothing in common with love and is clearly a consequence of unbridled consumerism: another human being is treated like a commodity.