Yes, it seems that there are many men who prefer to play the field. Women are now often advised on how to differentiate between men "with serious intentions" and other men. I don't think that it is about the financial costs of a wedding - I feel that lots of men are now simply afraid of any real emotional attachment and its consequences. And dating apps and websites encourage many people to think that they have plenty of options, that they can be very picky...
I am sure that there are women who turn down perfectly good men only because of their social status or for some other shallow reason. However, there are also perfectly good women who are ignored, turned down or treated like dirt for very shallow reasons. Unfortunately we live in a world which favours superficial and narcissistic people, a world where human beings are very often judged mainly on their looks, popularity and social status.
I listened to a podcast that rated countries based on a number of factors. One of them was individualistic vs collectivistic. The United States was the biggest outlier, ranking as by far the most individualistic country in the world. I wonder if that is at the root of the declining marriage rates. The kind of concessions required to make a marriage work might be seen as an unreasonable burden to someone who needs every feeling validated and thinks compromising means they aren’t being true to themselves. If they had to accommodate someone else’s desires they wouldn’t be living their best life. Maybe I am just getting old, but it seems that pretty standard compromises married couples have always made are now seen as controlling and oppressive.
I agree with you. I would add that another aspect of this extreme individualism is that many people are focused on their own desires and expectations in a very selfish way and assume that they can find someone who will fill all their (often totally arbitrary) criteria. This approach towards relationships has nothing in common with love and is clearly a consequence of unbridled consumerism: another human being is treated like a commodity.
Yes, it seems that there are many men who prefer to play the field. Women are now often advised on how to differentiate between men "with serious intentions" and other men. I don't think that it is about the financial costs of a wedding - I feel that lots of men are now simply afraid of any real emotional attachment and its consequences. And dating apps and websites encourage many people to think that they have plenty of options, that they can be very picky...
I am sure that there are women who turn down perfectly good men only because of their social status or for some other shallow reason. However, there are also perfectly good women who are ignored, turned down or treated like dirt for very shallow reasons. Unfortunately we live in a world which favours superficial and narcissistic people, a world where human beings are very often judged mainly on their looks, popularity and social status.
I listened to a podcast that rated countries based on a number of factors. One of them was individualistic vs collectivistic. The United States was the biggest outlier, ranking as by far the most individualistic country in the world. I wonder if that is at the root of the declining marriage rates. The kind of concessions required to make a marriage work might be seen as an unreasonable burden to someone who needs every feeling validated and thinks compromising means they aren’t being true to themselves. If they had to accommodate someone else’s desires they wouldn’t be living their best life. Maybe I am just getting old, but it seems that pretty standard compromises married couples have always made are now seen as controlling and oppressive.
I agree with you. I would add that another aspect of this extreme individualism is that many people are focused on their own desires and expectations in a very selfish way and assume that they can find someone who will fill all their (often totally arbitrary) criteria. This approach towards relationships has nothing in common with love and is clearly a consequence of unbridled consumerism: another human being is treated like a commodity.